The Kiss


"You may kiss and embrace." or "You may share your first kiss as husband and wife."

This is the last line I read in the wedding ceremonies I perform as a Wedding Officiant.
I like it better than "you may kiss the bride" as it does not apply to same sex couples.

This beautiful couple kissed and everyone present embraced.

Carolyn Burke | Officiant 314.821.4844

Fighting Over Wedding Plans

Question: My husband-to-be and I are fighting all the time and often feel ill at ease about the details of our wedding. We used to get along so perfectly – before planning a wedding- and now we are at each other’s throats. It’s been such a wonderful relationship and we consider ourselves conscious’ people. How did things change and how can I bring things back into balance?

Answer: It will be wonderful again! You might even find it can be better if you can weather the wedding storms in a balanced way.

It is important to remember that wedding planning tends to take you out of ordinary life and into an extraordinary situation. In that situation, small things get blown to larger proportions and difficult situations seem ever-more trying. Along with the joy, wedding planning brings up discomfort, fear, worries, imbalance, and a tad of insanity. Even very sweet people can feel their cool melt down when wedding stress comes their way.

Your relationship will improve when you do things that put you individually, and as a couple, back into balance.

Share sacred time: Clearly, you need to reconnect on a soul level to remember why you are getting married and how much you mean to each other. Take time out from wedding planning regularly to take a walk, share a romantic dinner, share a spiritually enriching event, meditate or make love.

Speak what is on your minds, and in your hearts: Your wedding ceremony will give you a chance to speak vows.  Wedding stress gives you a chance to speak what is on your mind. Communicate. Don’t pick at each other, talk with one another. One bride shared that she and her husband used to sit down on the linoleum on the kitchen floor to hash out their differences and not get up until they figured things out.

Take responsibility for your own anger: Separate your anger, disappointment and stress from anger, disappointment or stress you feel is created by your beloved. Rather than play the blame game, take responsibility for your own stuff! And if you feel the anger rising within you, don’t fling it at your loved one.  You are better off tossing a dish against a wall (safely!) than energetically tossing it at him. Try to get the crazed anger out of your system so you can be civil with one another -- running, exercises, talking with a friend can also replace dish throwing!

Resource: ©

Copyright © 2009  Carolyn Burke - Wedding Liaison

Ceremony for Introverts

Do you have a personality where a traditional ceremony scares you? Being the center of attention may not appeal to you, but there are ways to rethink the structure the event.

Your wedding ceremony should be true to both of you - that includes reflecting your style and personalities. If you are both introverts, you could consider a city hall ceremony. This allows you to bring a few friends, keeping things intimate and casual. St Louis City Hall and St Charles Executive Building has a great space to have a simple 5-minute ceremony.  

As an alternative, rethink the day in a way that pulls the attention away from you. You could SKIP walking down a traditional aisle and instead hang out with your guests pre-ceremony. 

There does not have to be a processional. Just get married where you are, on your terms. Starting the ceremony together might make you more comfortable. In the end, the goal of the wedding ceremony is to make your commitment of love in front of those you can about most. This can really take place in whatever form feels most authentic to your relationship.

Carolyn Burke | Officiant  314.821.4844

Location, Location, Location

Looking for the right venue to have a special event can be overwhelming. Details about the site's amenities such as capacity, fees, the size of the parking lot, accessibility and other specifics you may not have even thought of. Who has the time to call and check on availability; whether or not the location is even what you are looking for?

Carolyn Burke can give great advice for a variety of wedding ceremony or reception locations. Mostly small and intimate, but large and extravagant too. 

Looking for ways to save on wedding expenses is an increasingly common scenario for young couples, faced with hefty student loans, credit card debt, a tough job market, and ever-increasing living expenses. Many couples are choosing lower-cost locations and planning smaller weddings close to home for family and their closest friends. 

To plan an event, your first impression is the first step along with the costs involved. The style or theme of the event as well as restrictions on space, privacy, and entertainment all have to fall in place. Once the location is decided, the next step is deciding who will officiate, the type and style of music to be played, and who is going to coordinate the event.

Wedding Liaison Blog

Carolyn Burke | Wedding Officiant
(314) 821-4844
Main Website :
Sister Website :