Carolyn Burke STL Blog

Taking the name change plunge ? Whether you're following tradition and taking your husband's name, hyphenating, or making any other change you want legally recognized, here are the steps you'll need to follow. (Of course, these same steps apply to him if he's changing his name too.)  Until you receive your signed and sealed marriage license back from the county clerk, you won't be able to begin the official name change process. You can start in advance on minor things like changing magazine subscriptions and ordering new checks with your married name. Given that fact, be sure to book all airline tickets under your maiden name - all airlines now require a photo I.D. which matches the name on the ticket. Make sure you fill out a form requesting a copy of your marriage license be sent by mail after it has been processed, which typically takes about a month after the signed license was filed following your ceremony. With official marriage license in hand, the ...

The formal bridal party consists of four to twelve attendants; a maid or matron of honor, the best man, bridesmaids, one usher for every fifty guests, one or two flower girls, and a ring bearer. The bride's gown is a work of art, full length, usually with a train and veil. The number of guests is often between 150 and 400. It's not unusual for the bride and groom to enlist the aid of a wedding consultant in planning these lavish events. Some, but not all, of the guidelines shown above are relaxed in a semi-formal wedding. The ceremony and reception can take place in a variety of locations and both are often held at the same place. Semi-formal weddings usually have fewer attendants, and wedding attire and flowers may be less traditional and more innovative. How Formal Is Your Wedding? Formal weddings are usually held in a church, synagogue, temple, a hotel ballroom, home or a garden. These weddings follow a myriad of time- honored customs, preserved down to the las...

The St Louis County Parks and Recreation department has a wedding website. Their parks are great locations for wedding ceremonies and you cannot beat the price! Some locations come with electricity and restrooms, while others are simple for short, sweet and simple ceremonies. I have performed ceremonies as a Wedding Officiant  and I love the versatility that they can provide. Couples need to have nerves of steel as there is usually not a PLAN B or contingency plan in case of bad weather.  Nonetheless, they remain very popular. Below are my favorite photographs that show off the space.  You must contact the County Parks to book the location. Call me if you want my personal opinion on any of these locations as I am an Event Location Specialist. Bee Tree Mansion Garden Bee Tree Park Overlook Bissell Rose Garden Faust Park Jefferson Barracks Laborers House Patio Jefferson Barracks Museum Patio Queeny Park Courtyard Garden St Louis Cou...

Ceremony Traditions  There are many wedding ceremony traditions you may wish to include in your event. The bride being walked down by an escort is a ceremony tradition.  First choice is the father of the bride, but I have seen the brother, step father, both parents, and even the bride's son walk her down the aisle.  Of course, walking down the aisle alone is always an option. When using an escort, the bride should take the escort's LEFT ARM. Another tradition that the bride and groom consider is the "first sight of the bride by the groom.  If photos will be taken before the ceremony, a private moment may be arranged for the “ first look ”. If the bride and groom are not to see each other before the ceremony, it is the responsibility of the groomsmen to ensure the groom does not see the bride. The bride’s ring may be held by the best man and the groom’s ring may be held by the maid or matron-of-honor. The best man can hold BOTH rings - most likely he has a poc...

Question: My husband-to-be and I are fighting all the time and often feel ill at ease about the details of our wedding. We used to get along so perfectly – before planning a wedding- and now we are at each other’s throats. It’s been such a wonderful relationship and we consider ourselves conscious’ people. How did things change and how can I bring things back into balance? Answer: It will be wonderful again! You might even find it can be better if you can weather the wedding storms in a balanced way. It is important to remember that wedding planning tends to take you out of ordinary life and into an extraordinary situation. In that situation, small things get blown to larger proportions and difficult situations seem ever-more trying. Along with the joy, wedding planning brings up discomfort, fear, worries, imbalance, and a tad of insanity. Even very sweet people can feel their cool melt down when wedding stress comes their way. Your relationship will improve when you do things ...

Hawken House Hearth Room 1155 S. Rock Hill Road Webster Groves MO 63119 (314) 968-1776 This 19th century historic home has a simple elegance for an intimate occasion for up to 100 guests. The space includes the hearth room (1,575 sq.ft.) with a large fireplace as it's feature.  Wedding ceremonies can be held in front of the grand porch in the front yard or the courtyard/herb garden adjacent to the hearth room.  The front entrance is handicap accessible and includes a piano. The Grand Front Porch  This location allows outside catering and has a small prep kitchen with round tables and stack chairs, two portable dry bars, and a few specialty tables.  Ample parking as part of the Southwest Park. Courtyard That Allows for Tenting

A fabulous wedding happened at the Lodge at Grant's Trail in St. Louis, MO where they had a theme:  Cowboys and Haystacks .  Lodge at Grant's Trail Fireplace Haystack and Cowboy Hats Centerpiece One of the hardest parts of planning a wedding is making decisions.  There are a thousand choices for every aspect of your wedding, and it’s up to you to make the final decision. Just thinking about it is enough to make you dizzy! Fortunately, there’s a way to make many of those choices much easier.  You may want to choose some sort of theme or common style before you get into organizing your wedding. Haystack Wedding Cake Deciding early on whether you want a Victorian wedding, a rose-embellished wedding, or a western-themed wedding will help you choose your dress, venue, flowers, and many other aspects. Decisions that at first seemed overwhelming will become simpler when you have a clear idea of what you’re going for rather than a mishmash of parts tha...

Although some couples see this as a mundane task, I suggest you treat it as a ritual of love.  Prepare for the practical aspects, but also allow yourselves to feel and celebrate the importance of the celebration. This is the first step towards making it legal. It will be very exciting when you see your names on the license for the very first time. From the practical point of view, BOTH of you must apply for the license in person, bringing the appropriate payment and  documentation. The clerk's office will not allow a solo bride or groom to apply for a license. Missouri law allows you to obtain your license anywhere in the state (for example, you can get the license in St. Charles County, even if you intend to wed in the City of St. Louis). A marriage license from another state will not be considered valid. In Illinois, the ceremony must be performed in the same county of which you apply and pick up the marriage license. Illinois Marriage License CLICK HERE TO ...

Having a wedding ceremony at the Jewel Box requires a lot of planning.  Couples are given 90 minutes to show up, decorate, perform the ceremony, release the guests for a grand exit, and still have time for formal portraits with family members. There is no coordinator present, just someone to open the doors, set up the chairs - a custodian. Carolyn Burke  has been a Wedding Officiant at The Jewel Box many times and knows the tricks of the trade. Jewel Box in Forest Park Wedding Ceremony The facility is heated and air conditioned and decorated for the season.  Check with the Parks Division to be sure there is not limited parking near the Jewel Box due to a large special event like a marathon or festival. Jewel Box Wedding in Forest Park                       Saturdays   12:00pm-1:30pm   2:00pm-3:30pm   4:00pm-5:30pm                     ...

The word ELOPE used to mean "to run away with a lover, with the intention of getting married." Today it means having a small, quick, intimate wedding without the stigma of running away. ​Elope at any location like your hotel lobby, public park, favorite restaurant. Sounds romantic, right? But why Kirkwood , Missouri? Carolyn Burke - Wedding Officiant  has been performing elopement ceremonies since 2005.  She charges a nominal fee ($75) in Kirkwood because she lives and works there and considers her town to be the PERFECT place for a small and intimate ceremony. "We have beautiful parks, a train station, bandstands, gazebos, restaurants, and even a bed and breakfast for the honeymoon night," says Burke. Hazel Nichols, from Potosi, Missouri had the perfect plan. She called Carolyn Burke the morning of July 3rd wondering if she is available to perform an elopement ceremony for her and her soon-to-be-husband, Danny Goodson that same day. There are many reas...

Once in a while I am honored to perform a ceremony for my friends.  Thumper and Brenda are from a fun parade group I belong to - The Banana Bike Brigade .  They had their ceremony among family and friends at the beautiful Bee Tree Park - a St. Louis County Park. Brenda + Thumper Bee Tree Park  This was a second marriage for both of them and the wedding party consisted of close family and friends.  No fancy wedding attire was needed for them.  I enjoyed the flower bouquet aisle runner and Thumper's top hat made the occasion whimsical in a way. They now live happily ever after on a house boat out west.  Two years later I performed a ceremony for Brenda's daughter and she now is a grandmother.  The blessings continue and watching them bloom is the best part of my job. Many blessings Brenda and Thumper !!!

City Hall Rotunda 1200 Market Street and Tucker Downtown St. Louis Need Someone to Perform the Ceremony? Check out the  Carolyn Burke STL Short, Sweet and Simple Saint Louis City Hall This french-styled  building  was inspired by the Hotel de Ville or City Hall of Paris. The square rotunda is very unique and its central interior feature is a white marble rotunda, about 100 feet square, with a colored glass skylight above and a marble grand staircase.       St Louis City Hall is available for wedding ceremonies AFTER HOURS (after 6pm on weekdays or weekends) for a fee. Contact the Special Events Department at 314-589-6640. Officiant Only : $200 Officiant Plus Rehearsal : $380 City Hall : Call 314-589-6640 for Facility Use Fee St Louis City Hall for a Wedding Ceremony The space must be scheduled so that normal business hours are not  interrupted    Not a problem for a Saturday or Sunday event.  Th...

Two names that are a bit hard for us Americans to pronounce, but I like a challenge.  This cute couple got married at the beautiful Missouri Botanical Garden at the Boxwood Garden.  The bride and groom are both graduate students at Washington University.  Boxwood Garden Xiaoqi (pronounced She-oh-chee) and Yuetian (pronounced Your-a-ten) invited their closest friends, but no family members.  The bride's escort was a professor and the groom's advisor played a supportive father role.  An aisle runner was placed up the path to where the three of us stand.  The bride marched down the aisle to the sounds of a pocket trumpet playing the Bridal March. Beautiful Aisle Runner Up the Path The whole event was very sweet and I was honored to be a part of it. Congratulations Xiaoqi and Yuetian !!

I had the honor of officiating the wedding ceremony for Amber and Chris who were married at the Top of the Met   operated by Kemoll's Restaurant in downtown St. Louis.   The color theme for this event was easy to spot - BLACK AND WHITE. They had a nice display of cupcakes instead of the traditional wedding cake and fun favor boxes that also served as an escort card. The groom was a little nervous and the anticipation of seeing his bride walk down the aisle was evident. Standing in front of a wall of windows on the 42nd floor of the Metropolitan Building was not as easy as I would have thought.  My peripheral vision took hold as the ceremony started, but I was quick on my feet.  WHEW !! Congratulations to Amber and Chris and many blessings. Below are some kinds words I received from Chris, the groom via email and  Facebook. I have to say thank you so much for helping out with our wedding! Thanks for the extra "winks" to keep my knees fro...

I had an unusual wedding guest attend a ceremony I performed in Frontenac, Missouri. The groom's brother was not able to be there, so they rigged up a laptop and video camera and the brother and his family were able to witness the ceremony using SKYPE . This is a videophone service that is free. I wonder if skype can be used if the bride and groom cannot be together during the ceremony. For me, as long as they have their marriage licence and two witnesses present on my end of the conversation, I don't see why not. I am willing to do anything different.

Most couples getting married have no problem telling all of their family and friends of their decision to marry. It seems the more, the merrier. Well, Dan and Susan had another plan. They are from St Joseph, Missouri but would rather get married away from family and friends. They want to keep the ceremony a secret . Okay, so choosing the Gateway Arch to have the ceremony is not necessarily a secret. Dan and Susan wanted to get married at the TOP of the arch. We met at the entrance to the facility and waited in line to go up to the top in the tram. While in line, we asked the folks in front of us if they would witness the ceremony and sign the license. A man and his daughter were agreeable. Dan proposed to Susan while they were vacationing here a year before. They chose the same WINDOW to stand in front of while I performed the ceremony. After the witnesses signed the license, the dad stated he was celebrating his 32nd anniversary on the very same day - his wife decided no...

In St. Louis, Forest Park is the best place for so many activities.  In the few places I drove around I saw men playing golf, four men playing handball, joggers, dog walking, the Webster University graduation at the Muny,  a limo, a charter bus, a walking history group, cars, cars and more cars. Choosing to have a wedding at the Grand Basin takes guts.  The road narrows as you approach it.  It is a favorite spot for photographers and there is no shelter in case it rains.  One is really out in the elements. That did not seem to matter to Carleen and Danny who were married in winds that reached 13-15 mph.  The sun felt great in the 65 degree weather.  The water fountains spray a little mist which gave the bride goosebumps.  The couple giggled a little bit when the bride slipped her ring on his finger.  It turns out the ring belonged to the groom's father because they could not find the ring.  Now I know why they were giggling. Thank go...

I was honored to be the Wedding Officiant   for a special couple who held a Commitment Ceremony.  Over 100 guests were there to support them and celebrate their future together. Angie + Michelle  Angie and Michelle are perfect for each other - they truly compliment each other and it is easy to see and feel.  The theme for this event was - your guessed it - CARDINALS BASEBALL.  They had a traditional processional with the parents walking down, a wedding party, ring bearer and flower girl. Like many couples - this relationship came and went - then they were re-united and fell in love again.  They included a great song that made me cry (with happiness).  "Somewhere Down the Road" by Barry Manilow. The lyrics go as follows...... Sometimes goodbyes are not forever It doesn't matter if you're gone I still believe in us together I understand more than you think I can You have to go out on your own So you can find your way back home And S...

I performed two weddings on the same day where the groom started to cry when he started his vows to his new wife. The guests at both weddings reacted in a similar way - between taking your own breath away and a giggle. The first wedding was booked less than seven days, and I do not let the couples know how the ceremony will be written. It works well for elopements and they usually don't care or it doesn't matter. They trust me. Barb and Jim had their ceremony in their home with just close friends and family. They were having cake and punch afterwards. The second wedding was able to customize most of the ceremony as long as I still get to keep the Opening Words and Closing with Announcement the same. Marianne and Brian picked their own Question of Intent, the part where I asked if they take each other as husband and wife. You know, the "I Do" part. They found something from another officiant's website. This is fine with me. The vows can also be written by t...

 Take the Usher's Right Arm Duties of the Ushers Ushers have more details to attend to. So be sure they are qualified to do the job. They should be specifically instructed as to their responsibilities. They pay for their own wedding attire. (Does not have to match wedding party - suit is fine.) They should arrive at the church 30-45 minutes before the ceremony. They light the candles about 15 minutes before the ceremony begins (if this assignment is given to them by the clergy). The ushers should obtain from the Wedding Liaison a list of guests for special or reserved seating. If there is an aisle runner. they should be aware of how and when it is rolled down the aisle. If there is no Program Hostess, the ushers distribute wedding service programs to the guests while seating them. Programs can be used to reserve seats for immediate family or important guests. They stay in the back of the ceremony site and greet late guests. They choreograph the opening and closin...