Fighting Over Wedding Plans

Question: My husband-to-be and I are fighting all the time and often feel ill at ease about the details of our wedding. We used to get along so perfectly – before planning a wedding- and now we are at each other’s throats. It’s been such a wonderful relationship and we consider ourselves conscious’ people. How did things change and how can I bring things back into balance?

Answer: It will be wonderful again! You might even find it can be better if you can weather the wedding storms in a balanced way.

It is important to remember that wedding planning tends to take you out of ordinary life and into an extraordinary situation. In that situation, small things get blown to larger proportions and difficult situations seem ever-more trying. Along with the joy, wedding planning brings up discomfort, fear, worries, imbalance, and a tad of insanity. Even very sweet people can feel their cool melt down when wedding stress comes their way.

Your relationship will improve when you do things that put you individually, and as a couple, back into balance.

Share sacred time: Clearly, you need to reconnect on a soul level to remember why you are getting married and how much you mean to each other. Take time out from wedding planning regularly to take a walk, share a romantic dinner, share a spiritually enriching event, meditate or make love.

Speak what is on your minds, and in your hearts: Your wedding ceremony will give you a chance to speak vows. Wedding stress gives you a chance to speak what is on your mind. Communicate. Don’t pick at each other, talk with one another. One woman shared that she and her husband used to sit down on the linoleum on the kitchen floor to hash out their differences and not get up until they figured things out.

Take responsibility for your own anger: Separate your anger, disappointment and stress from anger, disappointment or stress you feel is created by your beloved. Rather than play the blame game, take responsibility for your own stuff! And if you feel the anger rising within you, don’t fling it at your loved one. You are better off tossing a dish against a wall (safely!) than energetically tossing it at him. Try to get the crazed anger out of your system so you can be civil with one another -- running, exercises, talking with a friend can also replace dish throwing!

Resource: WeddingGoddess.com ©
Copyright © 2009 Carolyn Burke - Wedding Liaison

15 Unique Ceremony Ideas

Here are a few unconventional ceremony ideas to take you down the aisle with a twist. 1. Let your guests mingle over cocktails before the ceremony. 2. The couple greets the guests as they arrive at the ceremony site. 3. Face the guests when you recite your wedding vows. 4. Have your guests sit or stand in a circle around you during the ceremony. Ceremony in the Round 5. Have both parents walk you down the aisle. Dad - Bride - Mom 6. Have your husband-to-be escort you to the altar. 7. Don’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen - just the two of you. 8. Have an uneven number of attendants. (Maybe you just want a maid of honor, but he wants three groomsmen.) 9. Have a “man of honor” instead of a maid of honor. (Your brother? A good male friend?) 10. Have the groom choose a “best woman.” (His sister? A good female friend?) 11. Don’t wear a veil. 12. Have bridesmaids carry candles instead of bouquets as they walk down the aisle. Bridesmaids H...

How Formal Is Your Wedding?

The formal bridal party consists of four to twelve attendants; a maid or matron of honor, the best man, bridesmaids, one usher for every fifty guests, one or two flower girls, and a ring bearer. The bride's gown is a work of art, full length, usually with a train and veil. The number of guests is often between 150 and 400. It's not unusual for the bride and groom to enlist the aid of a wedding consultant in planning these lavish events. Some, but not all, of the guidelines shown above are relaxed in a semi-formal wedding. The ceremony and reception can take place in a variety of locations and both are often held at the same place. Semi-formal weddings usually have fewer attendants, and wedding attire and flowers may be less traditional and more innovative. How Formal Is Your Wedding? Formal weddings are usually held in a church, synagogue, temple, a hotel ballroom, home or a garden. These weddings follow a myriad of time- honored customs, preserved down to the las...

The Science of Relationships

Marriage may simply be about celebrating a milestone: recognizing the relationship that a couple has built together and the love that they share for each other. But weddings are also very future-oriented, as the couple publicly promises to maintain their relationship for life. Marriage vows – the solemn promises that the newlyweds make to each other in front of their closest friends and family – are why weddings have such an emotional impact. If these promises are the essence of what it means to be married, then what exactly do you want to promise each other? You could always go with the traditional marriage vows: for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better for worse…but, these seemed a bit too vague for our tastes. Below are the ten promises taken from www.ScienceOfRelationships.com Each of these promises is going to help achieve long-term marital bliss (we hope). 1. I promise to respect, admire and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the...

Carolyn Burke STL Blog

Search This Blog