Fighting Over Wedding Plans

Question: My husband-to-be and I are fighting all the time and often feel ill at ease about the details of our wedding. We used to get along so perfectly – before planning a wedding- and now we are at each other’s throats. It’s been such a wonderful relationship and we consider ourselves conscious’ people. How did things change and how can I bring things back into balance?

Answer: It will be wonderful again! You might even find it can be better if you can weather the wedding storms in a balanced way.

It is important to remember that wedding planning tends to take you out of ordinary life and into an extraordinary situation. In that situation, small things get blown to larger proportions and difficult situations seem ever-more trying. Along with the joy, wedding planning brings up discomfort, fear, worries, imbalance, and a tad of insanity. Even very sweet people can feel their cool melt down when wedding stress comes their way.

Your relationship will improve when you do things that put you individually, and as a couple, back into balance.

Share sacred time: Clearly, you need to reconnect on a soul level to remember why you are getting married and how much you mean to each other. Take time out from wedding planning regularly to take a walk, share a romantic dinner, share a spiritually enriching event, meditate or make love.

Speak what is on your minds, and in your hearts: Your wedding ceremony will give you a chance to speak vows. Wedding stress gives you a chance to speak what is on your mind. Communicate. Don’t pick at each other, talk with one another. One woman shared that she and her husband used to sit down on the linoleum on the kitchen floor to hash out their differences and not get up until they figured things out.

Take responsibility for your own anger: Separate your anger, disappointment and stress from anger, disappointment or stress you feel is created by your beloved. Rather than play the blame game, take responsibility for your own stuff! And if you feel the anger rising within you, don’t fling it at your loved one. You are better off tossing a dish against a wall (safely!) than energetically tossing it at him. Try to get the crazed anger out of your system so you can be civil with one another -- running, exercises, talking with a friend can also replace dish throwing!

Resource: WeddingGoddess.com ©
Copyright © 2009 Carolyn Burke - Wedding Liaison

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