Inviting children to take part in your celebration can make it even more special. If there are children - your own or someone else's - in your life, you can find several ways to get them involved.
However, the last thing you want to worry about is your flower girl and ring bearer becoming impatient, restless or fidgety on the day of the wedding.
Here are some helpful tips to ensure that the day goes smoothly...
As a general rule, when choosing children to take part in your wedding as a flower girl or ring bearer, it is usually best (or at least more predictable) to have children ages four and above. Now, of course, each child is different and you'll want to consider their personality (very shy vs. outgoing) and maturity level as well.
Those who suffer stage fright might work behind the scenes before the ceremony. Some children may prefer to distribute wedding programs, invite guests to sign the guestbook, light candles, or hand out bubbles for blowing after the ceremony.
In the weeks before the wedding day, talk to your flower girl and ring bearer about the events that will take place before and throughout the wedding day. Explain what they will wear, where they will go and what they will have to do. The better young attendants can visualize their role in the wedding, the better prepared they will be to cooperate and participate as you would like them to.
Invite all of your young attendants and their parents to the rehearsal. Let the children practice walking down the aisle several times so that they will feel more comfortable of their role on the "big day".
Make sure that the children know exactly where their parents will be (seated or standing) during the ceremony. Depending on the length and style of the ceremony, you may want the children to go and sit with their parents during the ceremony.
The parents of the flower girl and ring bearer should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. However, many rehearsal dinners can go as late as 10:00 or even later. Therefore, it is recommended that the children not attend the dinner. Talk with the parents to see if a babysitter could be arranged ahead of time.
Ask the parents of your flower girl and ring bearer to make sure their children are well rested before the wedding. A good night's sleep the night before, or even a nap the day of, can help little ones get through the day.
Take pictures with the flower girl and ring bearer as early in the day as possible --preferably before the ceremony. Then, there is less chance that their outfits could get dirty, torn, wrinkled... you know how kids are!
Be sure to express your heartfelt appreciation to the children in your bridal party. Photographs make a cherished gift for flower girls and ring bearers of all ages. They will enjoy reflecting on pictures of themselves and remembering the special role they played in your wedding.
Involving Stepchildren - Involve children from previous marriages to let them know how important they are to the new family structure. Include them as junior bridesmaids, flower girls, or ushers. Invite the children to participate in the unity candle lighting, the readings in the church or present them with their own family ring.
Make a special toast to them during the speeches. Perhaps forego throwing your bouquet and instead present it to your new daughter to be.
After the wedding vows and the exchange of rings, the officiant can ask the child(ren) to step up with the couple and create a circle. The officiant can say a prayer and ask the child(ren) if they also agreed to support, participate, and love in this new family. They each said "I will". Then, instead of announcing Mr. and Mrs. So&So, announce for the first time, "The family of Mr. and Mrs. So&So". It will bring the house down in tears.
Kids are unpredictable! All the practice and preparation in the world does not mean that they will perform their role "flawlessly". Don't expect perfection. Remember, if it doesn't go just as planned, it will make for entertaining clips in your wedding video.