The ceremony is the most important part of your wedding day. Just as with all your other wedding vendors, the officiant you choose should match your personal style and the type of wedding ceremony that you'd like to have.
For instance, you may not choose the same officiant for an informal wedding in the park versus a formal religious ceremony in a church. With just a little preparation, you can be sure your officiant shares your wedding vision. I take pride in helping you choose the right person.
I have resources to over 20 men and women who are ordained in the state of Missouri and Illinois.
* Is s/he available on the day you've chosen, at the time you'd prefer?
This question is the most crucial.
* Can the officiant travel to the site?
This is especially important if you're planning a wedding outside of the metropolitan area.
* How long has s/he been performing wedding ceremonies?
You might also ask if there are other recently-married couples you can contact for advice or referral.
* What are the fees? What is included? Will s/he marry us if we are of different faiths?
*What type of pre-marital counseling is required, if any?
Requirements vary greatly, and can be anything from a meeting with the officiant, to a series of counseling sessions, to a weekend retreat with other engaged couples.
* Does s/he have a standard ceremony? What variations can be made?
Ask if a sample ceremony is available for you to use as a guide. If you have any special verses, readings or music you would like to include in the ceremony, be sure they are acceptable to the officiant.
* How long does the ceremony usually last? Do you attend the rehearsal?
This is useful when making decisions about the reception, photographer, limousine and receiving lines. If your officiant is experienced, s/he will be able to make helpful suggestions about readings, vows, music selections and even the logistics of the wedding day.
* Will s/he be available to answer questions or give advice?
Make sure you have telephone numbers, office hours and other contact information.
Then ask yourselves....Do we feel comfortable with the person? Talking about your concerns to the prospective officiant will clear things. If your officiant is included in the ceremony location (like a church), additional questions are needed.
* Can you tour the ceremony site?
You wouldn't buy a house without walking through it, so make sure you get to see the actual place the ceremony will occur. Make mental notes on the size, accessibility, and generally get a feel for the space.
* How early can you be at the site, and what's the latest you can leave?
You may wish to decorate the site before the ceremony, or stay afterwards for pictures. Be sure you will have enough time for all you wish to do.
* Is there a place you can get ready before the ceremony?
Even if you don't plan on dressing at the ceremony site, it's helpful to have a private room, maybe with a mirror for touching up your makeup and hair at the last minute.
* Is there a place parents can take their children during the ceremony?
Kids can be restless and noisy, and having a nursery or special room available can make your ceremony more enjoyable for everyone.
* Will you be able to have a photographer and/or videographer present during the ceremony?
* Are there any special restrictions?
Some sites do not allow guests to throw bird seed, others prohibit flash photography. Be sure it's clear what is allowed and what is not. Some churches, for example, prohibit secular music.
* Does s/he have any suggestions on vendors?
When you deal with weddings frequently, you meet good florists and see the bad photographers in action.